Today, President Obama gave a speech to tout his new plan for smarter government. Part of this plan includes opening up government data and use technology to create jobs.
President Obama stated, " ATMs have proven to be a form of technology that has taken away the jobs of hard-working Americans. Let me be clear, under our plan, we will create a reverse ATM system that creates jobs and provides more government data, increased transparency, and stronger revenues. After all, the government is something we all belong to. The American people's data are the government's data".
The Obama administration has touted itself as being the most transparent administration in America's history. They hope that their reverse ATM system will provide an easier way to transfer funds and information from the American people to their government in addition to creating jobs. The Obama administration has recently proven that it can be transparent with Americans' credit card account information and social security numbers. This is the kind of transparency that they have been seeking and hope that the development of the reverse ATM will provide high tech jobs and even more efficient ways to collect information.
The Obama administration is hoping to tap Jon Corzine to lead this initiative. Corzine was recently absolved of criminal wrongdoing in the disappearance of more than a billion dollars of clients' investments, yet has been currently under review from the CFTC. Such a record makes him a perfect fit for the Obama administration.
*Please note: This is only satire.*